For the large part, Christmas is all about the children. A time for unwrapping presents, visiting Santa and getting excited about the big day. If you are going through a divorce at the same time, you will want to do everything to make this year especially fun and magical.
Stay on friendly terms with your ex
If you are going through a breakup and are concerned about the impact it will have on your children, you want to protect them naturally from any difficulties or animosity. One of the most valuable things to do to ensure a fun and peaceful festive season is to try and keep things amicable with your ex. Sometimes, doing this is simply impossible. But if you can, aim to keep lines of communication open and clear so that you can make holiday plans that will benefit the children.
Get planning
Planning for Christmas when you are divorced or going through a divorce takes a little more forward thinking. Your children are likely to want to spend time with all sides of their family, so bear this in mind when you are planning your own activities with them. Again, communication is key to getting this right. Flexibility is also important, and if plans change, you need to be prepared to rethink how you will do things without causing any stress to your children.
Talk to them
Keep communication fluid with your kids too. Explain the plans for over the holidays, including where they will be on certain days, who they will be staying with and when they will be coming back to you. Knowing what is happening will help them feel secure and free to enjoy all the fun and activities you have planned. If your children are older, you can ask them about where they want to go. This will give them a sense of control at a time when they are going through a significant period of change. Do everything you can to make sure you stick to your plans too and if there are any changes, ensure you are relaying these to your ex-spouse too.
Tune out of your divorce
Making arrangements for where you will live, discussing financial settlements and planning how you will divide your marital assets can become all consuming. It can induce stress and worry and your children can pick up on this easily, even at a young age. Use the holiday period to have some time off from thinking about your divorce and reconnecting with yourself and your children. Plan some festive activities with them and discuss your plans with them.
Think carefully about gifts
With emotions often running high, divorces can be a breeding ground for new conflicts. The concern and planning around Christmas can take this up a gear. Presents for children can become a key area of dispute. For example, you may plan to get your child the toy they have been asking for, for months, only for your ex to buy it before you. Or, you may have a budget you want to stick to but your former spouse has decided to spend more this year. There’s lots of room for these kinds of conflict. To avoid them, speak to your ex well in advance of the holidays and discuss in detail what each of you will be buying for your children.
In summary
Putting your children first, planning thoroughly and maintaining a level of cordialness are the main ingredients to a successful Christmas with your children. By taking all of these into account, you will have done the best you can to ensure you all have a happy festive holiday.
