While doing the research on self-image, especially among women, two critical questions arose. Why and when did women start seeing themselves through the lens of negativity and non-acceptance?
Then it dawned on me.
As little girls, we still had a clear-eyed vision. Our ideas and thoughts were innocent and unspoiled. Then, suddenly, self-awareness woke up, and we began comparing ourselves to others. That’s the moment everything changed. That’s the moment when our hair became too straight, curly, or thick and kinky. That’s the moment when we noticed that our skin was either filled with freckles, too dark, or not dark enough.
Gone were the days where we thought we were a princess, a queen, or a beauty pageant contestant.
It’s disheartening to think about the number of adult women who struggle daily with accepting their appearance and/or the skin they were born with. Many of us have a distorted picture of how we look, our capabilities, or other aspects of our lives. Unfortunately, the world we live in does not heal us from this self-deception but instead amplifies it.
It takes courage to put yourself on a journey that allows you to rediscover your inner and outer beauty and reawaken your sense of gratitude to love the skin and the body you were born with.
The struggle of that journey is real, but I hope readers of this article will resonate with one or two of the ideas shared here.
1. Transform your thoughts intentionally to hear the music of beauty.
Believe it or not, we can impact our minds by deliberately changing our thoughts daily. This is how powerful we are. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Our mind can act like a radio station that plays music non-stop. Our thoughts are the music. If the music or thoughts that constantly play in our minds is negative, we need to take intentional action by changing the channel to something positive. This isn’t easy, but certainly not impossible. When we focus on positive thoughts and allow those positive thoughts to cut through the noise of our negative thoughts—great things happen. We hear music that lifts up our self-esteem. We hear the music of beauty, and it’s that music of beauty that travels from our minds down to our lips, and we begin to allow ourselves to speak that beauty. We own it.
2. Accept that which you cannot change.
Trying to constantly change something that simply cannot be altered consumes our energy on so many levels. When we become aware that the skin we were given is perfect, a revelation occurs. This revelation reveals one crucial fact: our skin never needed to change; it was our mindset that required intervention.
3. Embrace your uniqueness.
This one is merely a reminder. We actually know that we are one of a kind, but we often forget it. We need someone to repeat this for us from time to time. And that is entirely ok. So today, this is your reminder.
You are indeed unique, memorable, incomparable, unusual, and extraordinary. I could go on and on. 🙂 Because that is the truth, and the more I repeat this vital truth, the sooner you will tell this to yourself and become your own reminder. After all, that’s the end game – to become our own reminder of how special and beautiful we are.
4. Surround yourself with supportive people.
The people we spend time with are vital to our psychological health. You have probably heard of the sentence: “You are who you surround yourself with.” So, think about the people that encourage you to love the skin you’re in. Those are your people.
5. Self-acceptance is the key.
How much do you actually accept, respect, and value yourself? When we are clear about our values and perspective, we awaken the need to be authentic. When you see your self-worth, others will acknowledge your authenticity and appreciate your value.
About the Marian L. Thomas:
Born in Illinois, Marian L. Thomas wouldn’t say that her first career choice was writing novels. She saw herself working as a journalist for a local newspaper. Marian’s writing path took a detour after writing her first novel. Now, she can’t imagine not crafting stories for women that bring characters to life—characters who face natural obstacles, cross complex barriers to find love, and discover all the beautiful possibilities that life can offer.
Marian has penned six women’s fiction novels, including her latest, Someone Like Me, that courageously touches on race, black hair, and self-love issues.
Marian and her husband currently live in a suburb of Atlanta. She enjoys watching movies with a historical flair and believes that popcorn should be a vegetable.
To learn more about Marian, visit her website at marianlthomas.com
