Working in a toxic work environment can be an incredibly challenging and draining experience. When the toxicity originates from a toxic leader, the effects can be even more detrimental. I am sharing my personal journey of enduring four years of bullying, being left off projects, enduring smear campaigns against my name, finally finding the courage to speak up, and ultimately making the decision to leave.
For four long years, I found myself trapped in a toxic work environment where I was subjected to relentless bullying. Verbal abuse, humiliation, and intimidation became a part of my daily life. This prolonged mistreatment left me feeling demoralized and powerless. Maintaining my self-worth and resilience in such negativity was a constant internal battle. Bullying shows up in many ways, one of which is being consistently excluded from important projects and collaborations. The toxic leader used this deliberate exclusion to undermine my confidence and hinder my professional growth. Feeling isolated and undervalued, I questioned my abilities and worth as a professional. It was a painful experience that eroded my self-esteem and left me questioning my career choices.
Perhaps one of the most damaging aspects of the toxic work environment was the smear campaigns launched against me. The toxic leader, driven by their own insecurities and desire for control, aimed to tarnish my reputation and credibility. False accusations and rumors were spread, further isolating me and creating a hostile work environment. It felt as though my name and professional integrity were under constant attack.
However, there came a point when I could no longer endure the toxicity silently. With a surge of courage fueled by a desire for change, I decided to speak up. It was a daunting step, as I knew it would come with risks and uncertainties. However, I realized that remaining silent would only perpetuate the cycle of abuse. I contacted higher authorities, sharing my experiences and exposing the toxic leader’s behavior. I would like to add I did not contact human resources at the time in hopes that the toxic leader would start doing right by me and out of fear of retaliation.
Speaking up was a turning point in my journey. The catalyst empowered me to reclaim my self-worth and prioritize my well-being. However, the decision to leave the toxic work environment was not an easy one. For one, I built this team from the ground up, but if I was honest with myself, the toxic leader was making life at work miserable. It required careful evaluation of my mental and emotional health, career goals, and future prospects. Ultimately, I chose to leave, knowing it was the best decision for my well-being.
Leaving a toxic work environment was only the first step towards healing and reclaiming my life. It takes time and self-care to overcome the aftermath of such an experience. I focused on healing, rebuilding self-confidence, and nurturing positive professional relationships. Enduring those four years of hell silently built the courage I had lacked. I ended up obtaining my Master’s degree in Industrial & Organizational Psychology, I wrote my #1 book entitled “Birthing the Leader Within You,” and also ended up joining a grassroots organization, End Workplace Abuse – which champions psychologically safe work environments and is also seeking to pass the Workplace Psychological Safety Act in all 50 states. Seeking support from friends, family, and professional networks was vital to my recovery. Engaging in activities that brought me joy and fulfillment helped me rediscover my passion for my chosen career path.
Enduring, leaving, and overcoming a toxic leader and work environment is a personal journey that requires immense strength and resilience. No job is worth your dignity or respect. By sharing my own experiences, I hope to inspire others who may find themselves in similar situations. Remember, it is never easy to navigate through such toxicity, but speaking up and prioritizing your well-being is essential. Everyone deserves to work in a safe, respectful, and nurturing environment, and it is never too late to make positive changes in your professional life.
Written by Shanesha Scott
