Monique de Maio is more than just a dynamic entrepreneur, accomplished author, and marketing expert—she’s a woman who intimately understands the challenges faced by fellow women leaders, and her book, “The 7 Secrets to Creating a Life You Love: A Practical Guide for Women in Leadership,” is a profound expression of that understanding.
With over three decades of experience in the marketing industry, Monique has not only excelled professionally but has also cultivated a deep connection with the experiences of women in leadership. Her insights into the intricate balance of managing personal lives and professional pursuits make her uniquely qualified to resonate with and empower women leaders.
Beyond her role as a business leader, Monique de Maio extends her commitment to excellence to various mediums. As a podcaster, hosting “Possibilities with Monique de Maio,” she engages in conversations that inspire and uplift. Her book serves as a testament to her understanding of the nuanced challenges faced by women in leadership roles, offering practical guidance for creating a fulfilling life.
In every facet of her multifaceted career, Monique de Maio remains a thought leader, dedicated to empowering individuals. Through her compelling book, she continues to be a beacon of inspiration for those navigating the complexities of life through coaching and business leadership.
This is what she shared with us during an exclusive interview:
Why did you find it significant, at this point in your life and career, to write “The 7 Secrets to Creating a Life You Love?” It appears to mark a 360-degree shift from your typical successful day-to-day career to embarking on a new adventure aimed at assisting many others. The true nature of this question is, why now?
For me, it’s the right thing at the right time. I am an immigrant that came to this country at the age of five, and did not speak English. I was the first one to learn the language and became the family advocate and interpreter. I realized a few years ago that I did not pick communications, but instead, it picked me. I have been telling stories for those who are not able to do it for themselves (whether that be people or companies) for over 35 years. I have had a wonderful and successful career in marketing that I still love and am very proud of. Because I am a female leader, there are aspects of my life and career that men just cannot understand because they have simply never had to deal with the same issues. I started my career at IBM, worked on Wall Street, helped turn around a nonprofit, and ran a trade magazine—all before starting the business I have today. And unlike those experiences, my business of today serves my life; my life doesn’t serve my business. That is by design.
The journey of having that be the case was not always straight and not always fun. I remember looking for answers, guidance, mentorship, and support, and finding that all the books and articles I could find were written by men. In those days, it was also very uncommon to find women willing to mentor other women, as we were coming up through the ranks. It was an environment of alpha men and alpha women. It was survival of the fittest for these women, and they did not have the time or inclination to worry about the entry-level women.
I decided a few years ago that I had to help change that for other women. You may also be a high-powered woman leader people go to for answers, guidance, mentorship, support, etcetera. The question is, who do you go to? I am hopeful that this book is the place for you. I packed my lifetime of intellectual curiosity, learning, tips, tricks, and hacks on how I have been able to lead a life of intention and happiness— designed by implementing a few small things in seven key areas. I have blended my own professional and personal takeaways and compiled them all for you so you don’t have to!
I am now the happiest I have ever been in my life—more comfortable in my own skin, confident, and unapologetic. I don’t regret the decisions I made, and I have clarity and commitment about what I want my next chapter to look like. This book is the beginning of that chapter.
In your opinion, what sets “The 7 Secrets to Creating a Life You Love” apart from other self-help books, and would you recommend it to others based on your reading experience?
The book is practical, pragmatic, and real-world. It includes some statistics and research, but it is not written or intended to be clinical or theoretical. It is written like an accessible guidebook that you can pick up and put down based on what you need in your life.
It encapsulates real-world stories from me and 11 others’ non-superstar status women’. I dissect what I think are the seven key areas of life (called ‘secrets’ in the book) that typically trip us up and provide my experienced point-of-view with my personal tips, tricks, and hacks on each of these. I also incorporate stories into these secret chapters to bring the points I make to life. Then I give some ‘exercises’ to do with notes pages for the reader to put their learning into practice!
In your opinion, what are the key takeaways that women in leadership roles can gain from reading your book, “The 7 Secrets to Creating a Life You Love?”
I would say overall, my bottom-line theme from the book is that “life is simple, not easy.’’ I also assert that there are 7 key areas of life that when approached INTENTIONALLY, with a little more planning and forethought, can lead you to create a life that really serves you, and that you love.
I believe and talk about the concept of ‘compounded interest’ – making little changes here and there compound to a large impact day, months and years later. My book dissects these 7 areas and who you can approach each to get those results.
Can you elaborate on any specific stories or examples from the book that highlight the transformative impact of applying the seven secrets?
Yes, all my stories are told because I wanted to show how the ‘’secret’’ and my response in these moments in time solidified for me why they were important themes to bear in mind. These are the 4 specific stories, themes, and takeaways:
Page 71: In the ‘Choice’ Secret I tell the story of my first day at school as a kindergartner and how I was treated as an immigrant. I decided at that moment to never be told who and what I could and could not do because someone told me I wasn’t good enough (in this case, to be with the other children/students in the neurotypical classroom).
Page 103: In the ‘Job’ Secret I tell the story of how my male bosses applied a sexist and discriminatory position with me as the only female on the leadership team and was the impetus for me starting my own business.
Page 133: In the ‘Internal Narrative’ Secret I tell the story of being in 3rd grade and being punched in the face by the class bully and how defending myself created a story that I carried with me long into my adulthood that I was tough and could take care of herself and could not ask anyone for help; that I had to do it all on my own. This story did not change until I decided to study mixed martial arts in my 40’s and achieve black belt status.
Page 163: In the ‘External Narrative’ Secret I tell the story of being the family advocate, interpreter, and ‘fixer’—a role and a story that I still have to this day, that was cemented in a moment at the age of 5 where I had to speak for my parents because they could not speak English.
Can you share the story behind the founding of On Demand CMO and what motivated you to start this venture?
Page 103 in my book in the “Secret #4: Your Job: Don’t let it take over your life’’ section tells the story of why I started my business. I had an amazing job that I loved but worked for a male leadership team (I was the only female on that team) that treated me poorly with an incredible double standard. I made the choice that I needed to be in control of how I made a living, and how people treated me. I started the business before 9/11 and before remote working was the norm. I made it work, and I created a work/life balance I would not have been able to create if I was commuting into NYC working for a corporation. It was hard because as an entrepreneur, you take all the risks; you ‘’eat what you kill.” But for me, and the family I wanted to create, it was the right decision.
Not only are you a successful businesswoman and author, but you also host your own podcast, Possibilities with Monique de Maio. How do you choose your podcast guests, and what qualities do you look for in individuals who share their stories on “Possibilities”?
I pick women; normal, non-superstar status women that I meet that I think are ‘’up to something’’; meaning that they are doing, creating, or collaborating in areas relevant to my core audience: women leaders and women aspiring to be leaders.
They are from all walks of life—from entrepreneurs to corporate executives, physicians, nutritionists, financial planners, philanthropists that have a point-of-view and something to offer listeners and readers of the book as well—something that will benefit them. We can all learn from one another, and the podcast makes it simple to digest these learnings. About every other week on the podcast, I do a solo 8-12 minute “Consider the Possibilities’’ segment just talking about my point-of-view on a subject, like food, or imposter syndrome, or success is not binary, or desire vs. discipline for a quick reinforcement on a subject that means something to me and my audience.
Download “The 7 Secrets to Creating a Life You Love: A Practical Guide for Women in Leadership” today!
